My name is Vanessa Valerio and I am from the Dominican Republic. I have been dreaming about New York since I was a teenager and finally, at the age of 29, almost 6 years ago, I got a job in NYC. Packed my bags and moved to Brooklyn. I had left my home city of Santo Domingo when I was 24 and since then, I have lived in Barcelona and Washington DC. There is no other city that kicked my ass as hard as New York did but also, It is the city which lifts me up more than any other places I lived in. So, New York and Vanessa are an ongoing love and hate relationship.
When I moved to New York,one of the things that I wanted the most was having a boyfriend and a son! I did everything in my power to find it! The purpose of my Friday night outings was to meet the man of my dreams, my prince and father of my 3 kids. I got on every dating app out there, Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge… think of another one.. yes, I was there too. I used to go to so many dates that dating became my second job. One day, I went on three dates with three different guys on the same day, breakfast in Central Park, brunch in Clinton Hill and dinner in Williamsburg. Still now, I’m very impressed with myself!
There was the mechanical engineer who seemed more interested in my boss and clients than dating with me; then there was the older man that after 8 months of dating, I realized he had another girlfriend in Canada; there was Andres, the guy who told me plain and simple that he only wanted to have sex and never called me again; there was the Australian guy that on our first date called his parents on Facetime so I can meet them; and there was Mike, the guy who was on Tinder after dating with me for 6 months.
I felt disappointed and discouraged. Almost every relationship I developed fell apart. I felt like I have failed at the thing that I wanted the most. And that is when I started asking random people about their dating lives. Are you being ghosted on too? Where do you meet people? Are one night stands really just one night or can they become something else? Why hasn’t he called?!,… turned out that every person that I talked to had similar experiences which helped me a lot and made me understand how people think. We can all learn from other people’s experiences. So, I started recording the stories and put them on a podcast. And that’s how my baby SINGLELING was born.
Singleling is a storytelling love and dating podcast that showcases stories from regular people around the world as well as some of the best storytellers and comedians in the country. After a year of producing the podcast, I started a series of live events, including live recordings, featuring comedians and dating experts; and mixers for single people (who like to mingle) to meet in real life, for friendship or for dating.
So, I hate New York because it kicked me in the ass by not introducing me to a good decent man, but I also love New York because it made my creative juices flow and caused me to create Singleling.