Small clues to look out for, and (hopefully) avoid dating assholes in NYC.
Recently, I have been hearing a lot of people, including myself, complaining about their failing dating lives, aren’t we always? But there seems to be an abundance of assholes in NYC recently, especially those who seem like charming gentlemen at first. At first, I was under the impression that it might just be me, and my eccentric ways, that drives the men in my life to the boundaries of their sanity and gallantry. Hey, sometimes we create our own monsters… However sometimes our incompatibility is in fact, a “it’s you, not me” situation.
Based on my own experiences and those of my friends, I have compiled a list of signs that you might potentially be dating a jerk:
- To be on the lookout for future assholes, watch out for those that just got out of a serious relationship, they are more than likely looking for a rebound, and wont be taking your relationship seriously as they lick their wounds. (Loose cannon asshole)
- This is especially true if he still tries to keep in contact with his ex; he will still be too hung up on her to give you a fuller commitment (can’t necessarily blame the guy, but you deserve better than second wheel!)
- If he puts forth minimal effort to keep you chasing after him, not full commitment, but just enough to give you hope for a future with him imminently. This kind of asshole is more than likely actively using dating apps, keeping his options open (asshole, avoid! This will drag on for while until he feels he wont want to see other women as potential partners)
- If he OPENLY admits to being an asshole, he is in fact doing you a favor, and you should opt out IMMEDIATELY, just RUN. If he is a self described rebel and is a devout follower of the “rock star” lifestyle, just leave him to the hordes out there, you are above this sideline treatment (asshole who revels in how horrible they are)
- If he changes his behavior around his friends while with you, i.e. he wants to act masculine, and wishes he emanated “cool” like every on screen macho; he is not even confident enough to be himself around “friends” and in turn treats you like an accessory to emphasize his manhood (egoistic/ low self esteem asshole)